Pumping

I step out and immediately I feel
my nostrils stinging with every inhale,
my lips start to tighten uncomfortably, painfully,
my eyes tear up, and the saline starts to freeze

 

I unscrew the cap,
my fingers already clumsy with numbness.
I pull the gun out of its holster, and aim the spout for the small metal opening,
pulling the trigger with all four fingers and feeling the resistance.

I stand there holding the trigger,
I smell a hint of that pungent scent,
I inhale it deeply, and slowly.
I savor it.

I peak through the tiny triangle window,
and see the deep blue oceans of his eyes staring back at me.
I slip out of site, making sure to keep pulling the trigger,
and jump back so I can see him again.
He grins wide and toothy,
his tongue barely hidden behind the two prominent lower front teeth.

I reholster the gun,
stretch the cold and numb out of my fingers,
and drive away.

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