Netflix is Trying to Kill Me

Last night, I had something of an epiphany.  Netflix, is trying to kill me (possibly you too, I don’t know about that yet).  I have a one year old, so it’s fair to say good nights of sleep are few and far between.  They’ve been less frequent the last month or so.

I’m a big fan of several Netflix shows, and as every good Netflixxer does, I binge on them as they come out.  In the last month, I went from mini marathons of season 3 of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, the best season so far—DAMMIT!— to season two Master of None.  Kimmy’s laugh a minute style was a high I couldn’t walk away from, then it was paired with Master of None’s beauty and nuanced story telling, which had me riveted.

By the time I was caught up with Master of None, season two of Flaked had gone up on Netflix.  Flaked is a slow burn, that you start watching and even though it takes a little time, it hooks you with it’s simultaneously ridiculous and grounded obstacles.  (For me, the Venice landscape makes the visual elements even more appealing.)

And then, I had finished Flaked.  I had gone from goofy brilliance, to dreamy romance, to shattered self examination, and then comes season five of Orange is the New Black.  Orange is the New Black has it all.  It literally as the elements of each, and each episode is an hour and not a half, and the season is thirteen episodes long.

So last night, at nearly midnight, when my wife said “one more,” of course we watched one more.  We knew the baby would be up in a matter of hours.  We knew she had to work and that I would be up and going with him.  But we had to know what happens.  Then, as it does every year, the season ends, and we have just as many ideas and plot points floating in the air.  Sure we know what happened to a lot of the points—trying to be spoiler free, hence the vagueness— but we won’t really know until next season some of our most pressing answers, and by then we’ll have a whole slew of new questions.

So Netflix, if you’re reading this, I am onto you.  I know you want me to sacrifice my sleep and productivity to you.  I know you send your minions to tell me that I “really need to watch House of Cards,” but I’m not going to do that.  I’m not going to start anymore of your new series—accept for The Defenders in the fall, and Punisher in November, but after that I’m done.

I should note that this last month has been crazy with the shows I’m hooked on, but there have also been Girlboss, Dear White People, 13 Reasons Why, and all of the existing Marvel shows.  I have found myself in a fight to pace myself with all of these.  If the question is “can someone overdose on Netflix,” I’m pretty sure I’m close to discovering the answer.

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