This is kind of a follow up to my #metoo post, but less personal. I had mentioned in that post, that it was really sad seeing how many women were posting #metoo, but after I posted that, I saw the video of Jennifer Lawrence talking about her experiences (I saw a video on a different site so the comments I’m about to talk about might be different than the ones with this video).
I watched the video, and immediately felt sadness and compassion for her, and any other women with similar stories. Like an idiot however, I then scrolled down and saw the comments. Many of the comments were about how she wasn’t forced at gunpoint, and that she sold her soul, and a bunch of other disgusting bullshit that I fully disagree with.
There was one comment that caught my attention, this man, said something along the lines of “she can’t complain about this and also tell us she should be able to show her breasts in public,” (I tried to find the exact quote again, but there are hundred of comments, and I’m having no luck).
Here is what we need to start thinking, we’re in a society that does a lot of “slut-shaming,” and it needs to stop. Jennifer Lawrence can have the opinion/desire and fight for, the right to go topless in public. She can also have the opinion/desire and fight for the right to not HAVE to go topless to get a job. These are not conflicting ideas. Having the right to do something, is not the same as then having the requirement to do something.
I thoroughly enjoy pizza, but if I went to a job interview (of any pay scale, since that was such a point of contention with the dimwits on the comments section) and they then told me the job was contingent on eating an entire pizza, or regularly having pizza, and I don’t like that, it doesn’t mean I forfeit my right to ever have pizza. Maybe that interview’s pizza was greasy and disgusting!
We have a real problem with this concept in this country (perhaps around the world). If a woman wants to have sex with multiple men, she must want to have sex with all men. Right? That’s the message that we see in rape trials when they discredit victims for being “sluts.” It’s disgusting.
One of the troubling elements about this particular issue, is that it’s not just guys who are being total assholes about it. There were as many women calling her a prostitute, and other variations on the same nasty theme. It’s going to be a tough problem to fix, but women too need to stop slut-shaming. Look how many women were writing #metoo, and yet there were so many judging Jennifer Lawrence.
One of the big issues on the board, as far as women posters, was that they had been the victims of ‘real rape.’ This speaks a lot to the whole idea of slut shaming. For some reason, we’re obsessed with degree in our society. If you weren’t treated as poorly as me, you’re fucking lucky. That’s the mentality we all seem to have. In addition, when it comes to woman on woman slut-shaming, there is this idea of ‘if she shows more skin than me, she’s a slut,’ or ‘if she has had sex with more people than me she’s a slut,’ whereas the opposite is often true to ‘if she’s had sex with fewer people than me, she’s a prude.’
Here’s an idea, and I hope it’s not too radical: Let people be themselves. Are they hurting someone? Then stop them. Otherwise who the fuck cares.
We’re in a society right now that is a little torn, between the archaic belief systems of the past, and struggle for true free thought and action. I realized how bad it was a few years ago when I saw a religious person, upset with him or herself because he/she was having sex before marriage, while in a long-time relationship. “That’s not what the bible says…” Oh for fuck’s sake, who is getting hurt having sex in a long term committed relationship (among consenting adults, and let’s not start talking about fucking turtles, or lamps or whatever weird example doesn’t equate at all)? In fact who’s getting hurt in brief sexual encounters between consenting adults?
No one, but we have this set of ideals that just doesn’t make sense anymore, and it allows for predators to prey. Society is in such disarray because of a stigma based in a time that doesn’t exist anymore, but the fucking stigma still does.
Let people be, and try to understand that you can have sexual desires, and act upon it, without having to just accept any sexual advance you receive. If you don’t think that, stay online harassing people who are actually trying to live their lives.