Alright, so the title of this post isn’t exactly accurate. My day job, was a contract position, and that contract is now over, but I do still have my second job working as an editor at a small publishing company. So I’m not unemployed, I’m just not making a living at the moment.
I was given almost a month’s notice that I was going to be finishing up, so for that I’m grateful, and honestly, working for almost 9 months at the company that I just left was really good. They’re a good company that treated me really well. So, I have no complaints about them, no resentment or regrets.
That being said, it’s a bit overwhelming. I don’t like uncertainty, and while employment itself is most often uncertain, unemployment is a higher level of it. Could I get a job that ends up being my dream job? Definitely. Could I get a job that’s a step backwards? Definitely. The potential negative is really bad, while the potential positive is really good. That’s not exactly a comfortable place to be in. But, comfort isn’t necessarily a good thing, comfort can breed complacency, and I don’t want that. I want to continue to push myself forward, and so perhaps, this is exactly what I want.
My hope is that, like I did last year while unemployed, I can take advantage of this time not only to find a new job, but to build up Chocolate Diamond Media, to continue my own fiction writing, to continue to contribute to World’s Best Media.
Being unemployed last year was terrifying, and there were moments when I thought it would ruin my life, but I got more than 6 months with my son, to bond; and I was able to start this blog properly, and so I don’t regret any of it. I’m going to go into a mental space that will have truly awful days, days when I won’t know if I’ll be ok, but I really think that I will also have days that will justify those, and I will be supremely grateful for in the future.
I’m looking for jobs, but my hope right now, is that I will use this time in such a way that I will not be reliant on others in the future. Will it occur this year? Probably not, but I’m laying the seeds that will hopefully help me in the next five years, so that I won’t be sitting in an office staring at kind people who have to inform me that I no longer work there. That’s the worst, because truthfully, I could see on both occasions that it happened, that they feel truly awful about what they have to do. So, my hope is to get to a place where that’s no longer required, at least for me.
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