My Very First Orgy: A Short Story

A couple years ago, I saw an ad on Craigslist entitled, ‘Social Lifestyle Club ISO Men and Women 18-40 for Orgy’. I’ve responded to these types of ads before, and it usually turns out to be porn spam.

There was something different about this ad though. In the body of the ad the OP stated, “Done this before a few times, and have kind of formed a club. There are ten of us, but we want a bit more variety.” There was a picture attached of what appeared to be some in shape people. They were in their late-thirties, but their faces were obscured.

I clicked the replay link, and tried to craft the perfect response. If it wasn’t a scam, I had genuine interest. You see, like many men, an orgy was a serious bucket list item for me. I suppose that it would be more accurate to say that a threesome would be ‘the dream,’ but an orgy seemed more realistic.

After a couple of days of not getting any porn spam, I finally got a response.

“George,” I should mention that my name is not actually George. There was a mention of anonymity in the ad, so I used the name George. It was curiosity that made me respond after all. 

“George, I think that you’re definitely what we’re looking for. I’ll email you on Saturday with the details for that night.”

I could feel the smile on my face, as my lips stretched as far back as I can ever remember. I sent a quick reply, and began my planning.

My first concern was body hair. I have more than enough, but how much is the right amount? I’m five foot seven, and weigh one hundred and ninety pounds, so I wasn’t sure hairless was going to work. I need a little bit of hair at least to hide just how awkward my body is. Also, I’m pretty pale, and hairless I may look like a giant baby.

This was a constant for me. My body really lacked any definition. When naked, if it wasn’t for my body hair, I would be mistaken for a giant baby. —Or a de-feathered turkey (before being cooked) due to the lack of color.

Eventually, after consulting some discussion boards, and Google searches, I decided upon a hair strategy. I would thin out the hair on my chest and stomach, and give it a neatened border, so it didn’t look unruly.

The real question came with the OTHER hair. I had been told that complete hair removal could make it look larger. I was not sure where mine will fall size-wise on average within the group that I would be in. Actually, I wasn’t sure where mine fell in comparison to others in general.

I went to private school, and we didn’t have gym class. I really had never been exposed to other men. It was great to avoid all those common awkward situations we’ve all heard about from TV and movies. It did, however, leave me with no real awareness of my rank in society.

As I began to think about myself, I realized that I knew so little about what women were expecting. I began to sweat. My stomach started fluttering, but not in a fun butterfly way. This was miserable, like falcons were beating their wings inside me.

Again to try to settle my nerves, I turned to Google. I was looking for information, but what I ended up finding was a lot of Google Images. I didn’t find that they calmed me down. I stumbled upon an article entitled, ‘Are You a Grower or a Show-er?’

There are two different camps among males. There are the men, who when… um… —flacid?— are quite well off already. Then there are also men who it isn’t until becoming aroused that they truly ‘shine.’

I did more and more research. Every time I found something that gave me hope, the following article would take it away and crush my soul.

In order to not have my stomach, and my hopes flip flop with stress, I decided to stop looking into size matters. Instead I looked into ‘hair styles.’ The options were underwhelming. There was no hair, all the hair, trimmed hair, and something called ‘a landing strip’. It is not ok, in modern society to have a Hitler mustache, unless it is directly above your genitals. Again, I decided on the middle of the road, and just made it look ‘tended to’.

My nerves calmed and swelled more than a dozen times until Saturday, and finally it was time. I was about to attend my first orgy!