Let’s Talk About Guns

This is almost certainly not going to be the post you think it is, regardless of what side you are on.  I’ve been watching the gun debates rage on for years, but very intensely for the last couple years, and something has become very clear to me, and I want to talk about it.

Now, before I dive in, if you’re offended by intense language, this post is going to be a bit more graphic than even I am used to putting on here.  So, if you’re a family member who doesn’t want to read dirty stuff, or you’re just someone who doesn’t want to read multiple fucks, and references of a sexual nature, I recommend you stop reading now.

A major issue with our society and guns, is fetishism.  The “anti-gun” crowd (who are largely not anti-gun, but are deemed so because they are the “fewer gun” crowd) don’t seem to know how to talk about this, and I think that the “pro-gun” crowd are unable to recognize it.  We hear lots of rhetoric, about how “guns are tools,” but to many gun owners, whether they’re willing to admit it or not, that is simply not true.  There are Instagram pages, and websites, and probably magazines and everything else in which half naked women, are carrying big fucking guns. There are ‘mods’ to make your gun look colorful, or fun, or match your personality. People brag about their collections.  This isn’t the behavior associated with normal tools (maybe Snap-On, but not screwdrivers, and hammers and shit).

Is there a problem with guns in and of them selves?  I honestly don’t think so.  But when a ‘tool’ which is capable of such severe damage causes certain types of people to cum in their pants, that’s probably not a healthy spot to be in.  Now, I’m sure that you’re probably reading this and thinking “not me, I’m not a gun fetishist,” and I would assume if you’re still reading at this point, you probably are not, but the gun fetishists are the ones ruining it for everyone else.  I know probably 5 guys right off the top of my head who I would assume get erections when looking at guns.

You probably have heard video games, and bad parenting, and now bullying being blamed for school shootings and other forms of mass shootings, and I wonder, are these the root of the problem, or is it possible that if you have succumbed to this gun fetishism, and you see a video game in which you get to use them for their intended purpose (because anyone who says an AR-15 or an AK47 are not intended to assault human beings is full of shit) wouldn’t you want to try it, and maybe eventually, if you’re already prone to it, wouldn’t you want to go to the next logical step? If you’re being bullied and  you keep hearing about “a good guy with a gun,” and you have access to these weapons that make you feel like a big man or woman, that make you feel powerful, make you feel alive, wouldn’t it be a possibility that you’d want to use that?  Couple all of this with a level of mental instability, or rhetorical brainwashing, and all of a sudden the object of your desire feels like justice or a liberation tool, or whatever you need it to be.

So how do we deal with gun fetishization? And that is a question, that I think hasn’t really been addressed.  Will common sense gun laws help in this scenario?  I’m guessing the answer is minimally.  We need to admit there is an issue, and then start thinking about addressing the issue.  I know a lot of liberals are going to get mad at me, but while I don’t think that violence in movies and TV is a direct contributor to violence, it is hard to argue that much of this gun fetishization, just like so many other societal issues, aren’t being helped by some of our modern media.

I’m not sure if we need to be talking about only making violence in films realistic, or maybe it only needs to be cartoonish, and I am certainly not a fan of doing away with it altogether, but there has got to be some honesty in the fact that we’re a country with a lot of people who are aroused by guns, or it is an extension of their own sexual inadequacy or something, and we need to figure out how not to feed into that as a society.

If you’re still here and my language offended you, or the graphic terminology upset you, please realize that people dying senselessly is worse than that, and regardless of how much I might swear on this post, all of that is the real problem.

Roadtrips, USA

This past weekend, my wife, son and I drove from where we live in the Raleigh/Durham area of North Carolina, to Nashville Tennessee.  We had both been wanting to go since we moved down here last year, and neither of us had even been to Tennessee, and so we decided to go.

One of the things, that we’ve both noticed when driving around the country on various road trips, is the difference in culture is sometimes observable from the highway.  It’s apparent in what you can see immediately off of the highway, as well as the billboards that line the high way north and south, east and west.

In Massachusetts, where I’m from originally, the billboards are kind of boring.  You might see an ad for the local radio station, or depending on where you are, you may see one for a celebrity doing a show at Mohegan Sun Casino.  There isn’t much beyond that.

Down south however, there are three very distinct categories of billboards, and sometimes they’re very close to each other.  The three categories are strip club/porn shop billboards, gun billboards, and Jesus billboards.  The reason these are funny isn’t that they’re particularly funny topics in general, but the way they’re done.

First there are the strip club/porn shop billboards.  These are funny, because often times they’re trying to allude to more than they seem to be allowed to say.  We passed a sign that literally said “Sexy Stuff, Exit 390” (I don’t know the real exit number).  We also saw one that said “lingerie, adult DVDs, and vibes.”  I’ll be honest, neither of us would have guessed that if they couldn’t put the word ‘vibrator,’ that they could put the word ‘vibe.’  Would have been great to see “lingerie, adult DVDs and dilds,” but I’m guessing that there is some kind of weird double standard on that.  Or perhaps it would be that not enough letters or syllables were removed.

The second category are the gun billboards, and typically these I don’t notice as much, but my wife pointed out a few really interesting ones, including one claiming to have “machine gun rentals,” which I think regardless of your stance on the right to own guns, this is some weird wording.

Lastly are the Jesus billboards, some of these are really simple and reasonable “Jesus is the answer” types billboards, which honestly, you may disagree with the premise, but I still think it’s inoffensive by itself.  But there are other billboards which seem to be much more odd.  Lots of ones that seem like answers to questions unasked, like “…And you think God doesn’t work in mysterious ways!” Along with a small evolutionary chart with a red circle and slash through it.  WTF?

Anyway, the big thing that I find interesting about these billboards, isn’t them as standalone signs, but their proximity to each other.  If you were an alien, driving through a highway in the south, you would think that Jesus must have been obsessed with strippers, porn, and guns.  There are numerous spots in which your visual landscape, while sitting still, consists of all three elements, and it’s bizarre.  Especially when you see signs from miles away, off in the woods, elevated above the treeline, declaring that Pilots, or Loves, or any other big soft-fonted truck stop company has “Unleaded $2.49/Diesel $2.94.”

Last thing that I want to mention, and that is that one of the “Adult Stores” (because they don’t call themselves porn shops.  That’s like the ‘gentleman’s club’ of porn shops.) that we passed, was a drive-thru.  I must say, I’m really intrigued to how it that works.  “Um, yes.  I’ll have a number four, and a tube of the warming gel.  —*whispers* What do you want honey?— Oh, and a number twelve with a can of whipped cream.  And um… Super size it.”  Notice I didn’t make the obvious joke of one of the menu items being sixty nine, because I have standards, and honestly how big would their menu have to be outside the building to have that many items?

Anyway, I just wanted to tell you all about what I saw along the highway all weekend.  What’s the craziest billboard you’ve ever seen? Tell me in the comments.